St. Monica, Valiant Mother

Patroness of Mothers, Wives, Conversions and Alcoholics

“She spoke little, preached not at all, loved much, and prayed unceasingly.”--St. Augustine

The saying that “behind every great man is a great woman” is possibly no truer than in the case of the great Doctor of the Church, St. Augustine, and his mother, St. Monica. Without St. Monica’s countless prayers, tears, and sacrifices for her wayward son, we may never have had this great theologian. It is mainly through St. Augustine’s writings that we know the story of his mother and her heroic patience and valiant generosity which brought about so many conversions during her own life, and which still bears fruit today though the writings of her son.

She's often portrayed in what we would consider a religious habit, but it was the standard garb for widows at the time.

St. Monica was born in Roman-controlled Northern Africa in 332. The persecutions which had raged against the Christians for so long had only recently ended under the Emperor Constantine. But just because the Edict of Milan made Christianity a tolerated religion did not mean that the Roman Empire was now Christian. Paganism still remained the dominant religion, especially where St. Monica and her family lived. In addition, there were constantly new heresies being spread as men attempted to understand and explain the truths and mysteries of the Faith.

St. Monica’s parents were Christians, and they raised their daughter in the Faith. She was a pious girl and a dutiful daughter. One of daily duties was to go with a maid servant to the wine cellar each day to fetch wine for the family’s meal. One day she took a sip from the cup used to fill the wine-jar. She did not particularly like the taste of it, but each day continued to take small sips of wine, enjoying the novelty of it. Soon she was drinking a cupful at a time, and probably would have continued doing so indefinitely, but one day the maid servant insulted her because of this bad habit. St. Monica immediately realized the truth. She had been taught that serving God in small things would give her strength to make great sacrifices, like those of the martyrs, but that small negligences would weaken one’s will. She immediately resolved to break herself of the habit, and thus became the patroness of alcoholics.

When she was 22 years old, her parents gave her in marriage to Patricious, a nobleman of their town, though not rich. He was almost twice her age and a pagan. Though he had good qualities, these were often overshadowed by his violent temper and lack of fidelity. Life with such a man would have provided enough crosses for most, but to make matters worse, St. Monica’s mother-in-law, who had the same bad temper and false beliefs as her son, lived with the couple, held the position of mistress of the house. St. Monica and Patricious had three children, two sons and a daughter, all of whom St. Monica raised as Christians. Their daughter Perpetua married, but after her husband's death she would eventually enter a monastery. Their son Navigius also married and lived the life of a pious Christian. It was their oldest son, Augustine, who gave his mother what was perhaps her heaviest cross to bear as he grew older.

Early in her marriage, however, it was her husband and mother-in-law who gave St. Monica ample opportunities to practice patience. The household slaves seemed to delight in creating lies about St. Monica and reporting them to the mistress of the house. St. Monica responded to each new insult with silence and kindness. This example slowly influenced everyone in the house. Finally, the mother-in-law realized that the stories the slaves had told about St. Monica were incompatible with her gentle and charitable nature. She asked her daughter-in-law to forgive her all her wrongs and to teach her about Christianity. St. Monica must have been comforted and consoled by this fruit of her suffering, especially because along with the mistress of the house, the household slaves accepted the Faith, having been drawn to it by St. Monica’s kindness to them, especially in the face of their own cruelty to her.

Her next soul to save was that of her husband. Patricious’s temper and pagan lifestyle gave St. Monica much to suffer, but as always, she responded to him with patience and loving kindness. When he was angry, as often was the case, she prudently waited until after his fit of anger had passed to speak with him calmly about the matter. Though he criticized her for spending so much time at the church each day, she continued her practice, and trusted that her good example would eventually win him for Christ. And she was right. After seeing his mother become a Christian, and the great peace of soul it brought her, especially in the time leading up to her death, Patricious began to question whether or not he, too, should accept the Christian Faith. Shortly before his death he finally became a Christian.

Now that St. Monica was a widow, she devoted her life to two things: works of charity and her son, Augustine, now a 17 year old law student in Carthage. There were many Christian charitable establishments which relied on the work of widows, such as hospitals and orphanages. St. Monica relished the opportunity to perform heroic acts of charity for “the least of these,” often at great cost to her own comfort. Because most of her small amount of worldly wealth was devoted to Augustine’s schooling, she often went without food to make sure that those less fortunate than her were fed.

But there was still one conversion that St. Monica was determined to accomplish in her life, and that was the conversion of her dear son, Augustine. His teachers noticed early on that he was exceptionally gifted and had the makings of a great philosopher. His parents, eager to allow his talents to flourish, sent him to the best schools, though these were sometimes far from home, and always pagan institutions. Thus, despite his careful Christian upbringing, he came under the influence of his pagan friends, took up their bad habits, and eventually, as a young man in Carthage, he rejected Christianity and embraced the pagan ideas of Manichaeism.

St. Monica was heartbroken to discover this, and for the next seventeen years she followed her son, first to Rome, then to Milan, determined to remain close to him where she could be a positive influence in his life. Eventually Augustine did realize the errors of Manichaean thinking, but he did not immediately accept Christian truths. It was not until shortly before St. Monica’s death that Augustine, under the influence of his mother and St. Ambrose, who first demonstrated to Augustine that the truths of the Faith could be intellectually defended, finally converted and was baptized. Mother and son spent six months together, discussing philosophy and theology with their companions, and Augustine himself often marveled at his mother’s wisdom and understanding. Augustine said to her, “Philosophy means nothing else but love of wisdom. Now you love wisdom even more than you love me, and I know how much that is. Why, you are so far advanced in wisdom that you fear no ill-fortune, not even death itself. Everybody says that this is the very height of philosophy. I will therefore sit at your feet as your disciple.” (And this from a Doctor of the Church!)

St. Monica died peacefully with her two sons at the age of 55, after a life of prayer and sacrifices for those she loved and those in her care. She had accomplished her great mission of converting her mother-in-law, husband, and son. And all of this she accomplished, as St. Augustine tells us, by speaking little, preaching not at all, loving much, and praying unceasingly.

St. Monica, help us to follow your example to obtain the conversions of those we love!